COOL, UNCOOL
I want to quit my job and succumb to the tempting easy
money, get-rich quick lure of call centers…
but it entails too much pride swallowing and shameless
admission to the powers-that-be in my life that indeed, I was wrong. I had been
so wrong in sacrificing my studies for that job I so loved before. It was my
only source of pride in my almost wrecked existence.
I screwed up in almost everything but I always had a reason
raise my head up, because I had achieved something most people who screw up didn’t. I managed to get a “cool” job from a popular company even without a college
diploma. I thought it was so cool being an employed undergrad with a career
path very close to what I would have wanted after graduation. It was so cool,
the pressure of graduation gradually faded with time. Who needs a diploma when
it was cooler to be able to accomplish things without one? I was so damn proud
at being cool.
Lately, I realized it wasn’t that cool.
I want to have a job for the sake of money, not career, not
passion. Just plain cash. Lots of it.
I want to buy the things I drool for at department stores. I
want to eat my favorite Baked Zitti at Sbarro’s everyday. I want to hoard as
many Bread Pan and raisins and chocolates and gummy candies as I can at
supermarkets. I want to buy those great paperbacks and that pink-covered
biography of Marie Antoinette at Fully Booked. I want to hang out at coffee
shops and order as many cups of coffee as I can. I want to buy a new cellphone
for myself and for my mother. Above everything else, I just want to buy a
laptop so I can write every time I want, everywhere I am.
Ironically, my lack of college diploma allows me to
entertain that calling.
Still cool.
