welcome fans!

my favorite TV show , the only one i watch with devotion and addiction, is over. bye-bye PDA. this is so embarrassing but i was close to tears on that last episode. it was real life drama at its best. waaaah, corny! my apologies, my tear ducts are quite abnormal. imagine, i cried THRICE while watching X-Men, The Last Stand. San ka pa?

oh, and i adore JayR.

***

recently, i made one of the greatest discoveries on my 21-year-old self: i can actually cook! and with flying colors at  that. during our camping at Mt. Pulag in Benguet, i cooked my first ever sinigang, out of pure instinct, and guess what, everybody liked it. well, they said so. swear, i’m not cooking up ideas.

maybe, the really cold weather and the heavy rains numbed their taste buds and transformed everything barely edible into a sumptuous meal.

oh and just today, i cooked rice and several canned goods for myself. i am all alone in my tita’s condo because all of them already went home for Christmas. one month of being left alone like this and i’ll be the next iron chef in town.

***

stalking people on friendster is fun. monitoring who’s screwing up who, updating yourself with the goings-on in the lives of people (read: exes) you are surprisingly still interested in, reading blogs, writing one. haaaay, my thesis waits forever. it can’t compete with friendster. everyday, i make promises to myself that this is it, this is the day i’m going to finish that damn thing called thesis.

but no! my level of disinterest can qualify in the Guinness Book of World Records. my apathy can beat the apathy of the Filipino people towards the making of a good government or the apathy of most UP students towards tuition fee increases.

new word: apathesis. wahahaha! corny! hayop…

***

BLIND ITEM: itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang YOU so it can either be singular or plural.

YOUr newest girl doesn’t amaze nor entice me. trust me, my lesbo instincts tell me i’m way cuter. HAHA! (this is MY blog! go blog your own.)

bitterherbs amapalaya here we go again!

now i pose this philosophical, phenomenological, psycho-analytical billion dollar question:

WHICH IS BETTER: ipagpalit ka ng ex mo sa MAS sayo or sa MAS ka (sa over-all package or just the mere physical)?

today is cry-day, hate-day, bad day.

thanks to public CRs which happened to be the most comforting place on earth for me today. it’s living up to its name, comfort rooms.

thank you. you listened to my quiet, controlled sobs. you temporarily hid me from the cruel, complicated world. you witnessed my rage and surrender without judgment. 

and when i flushed those tears, i am ready to face the world again with a renewed conviction to win. 

I want to quit my job and succumb to the tempting easy
money, get-rich quick lure of call centers…

but it entails too much pride swallowing and shameless
admission to the powers-that-be in my life that indeed, I was wrong. I had been
so wrong in sacrificing my studies for that job I so loved before. It was my
only source of pride in my almost wrecked existence.

I screwed up in almost everything but I always had a reason
raise my head up, because I had achieved something most people who screw up didn’t. I managed to get a “cool” job from a popular company even without a college
diploma. I thought it was so cool being an employed undergrad with a career
path very close to what I would have wanted after graduation. It was so cool,
the pressure of graduation gradually faded with time. Who needs a diploma when
it was cooler to be able to accomplish things without one? I was so damn proud
at being cool.

Lately, I realized it wasn’t that cool.

I want to have a job for the sake of money, not career, not
passion. Just plain cash. Lots of it.

I want to buy the things I drool for at department stores. I
want to eat my favorite Baked Zitti at Sbarro’s everyday. I want to hoard as
many Bread Pan and raisins and chocolates and gummy candies as I can at
supermarkets. I want to buy those great paperbacks and that pink-covered
biography of Marie Antoinette at Fully Booked. I want to hang out at coffee
shops and order as many cups of coffee as I can. I want to buy a new cellphone
for myself and for my mother. Above everything else, I just want to buy a
laptop so I can write every time I want, everywhere I am.

Ironically, my lack of college diploma allows me to
entertain that calling.

Still cool.